Reflection on Complexion
As racism and prejudice goes more exposed in America, there has been a thought of mine that I’ve wanted to share. I didn’t know how to share, but I will try now.
Those who follow my posts, know my experience with racism and prejudice. How I’ve dealt with police officers, white people of my age, white elderly, etc. But now i feel it’s time to call out my people.
Have you heard the term, “hurting people hurt others”? Well, I think that is very relative to this situation but should never justify another’s actions.
There are a few black people in my life that say “it’s impossible for a black person to be racist” … I’m here to dispel that.
My experience with black people:
1. When I was a child, I was asked to look at a poster of football cheerleaders and was asked who I thought was pretty. There was a white girl I chose, and I was made fun of and called names because I didn’t pick a black girl.
2. There have been SO MANY times where a black woman would call me names or say horrible things about me just because I was in a relationship with a white woman.
3. Often times, I hear black people say, “they hate white people” and not talking about people who specifically hurt them.
4. An older black woman was talking to me one day about me and my wife, and we had a good conversation. Once she found out my wife was white, immediately her tone changed and she said, “no, I don’t like that, I don’t agree with that”. And she stopped talking to me. This woman didn’t even know my wife.
5. I’ve been called by my fellow black people Uncle Tom (an improperly used term), or a sellout, just because of the way I spoke.
6. I’ve been called an Oreo, because I may have black skin on the outside but I “act” white on the inside.
I can keep going on... but I realize I have other topics I want to discuss…
When you were a child, have you ever had the feeling of NOT wanting to be who you are? For example: not wanting to be black? I’ve had that, for a short time in my life. Yes, it was due to systemically how white people were revered, and how blacks were feared… but that wasn’t all of it. Some of it came from the amount of disrespect I had from my own people, simply for the fact that I was different, or that I cared for everyone (even those that were considered my “enemy”).
As I grew older, I’m thankful and glad I am a black person, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. People assume because I married a white wife, means that is because I didn’t want to marry a black wife. I want to say, that is absolutely not the truth. I wanted to marry HER, and she just happened to be white. So many people act like I didn’t have crushes or anything on black women growing up. Truth is, I was attracted to more black girls than any other ethnicity growing up... but they didn’t like me. I have not and will not reject my people. And just because I married outside my complexion is not a statement of prejudice or racism, but just a statement of my love for the woman in my life. Don’t confuse the two.
Hurting people hurt people, yes this is true. And black people have been hurt. But, this cycle needs to stop! We need to focus on loving each other, and not tearing each down just because there are difference in our lives. And let’s not just love our own people. We need to set examples for the world. If we want the world to treat us right and not judge us on our skin color, then we need to treat them right. We can NOT treat people based on their skin color and history alone. Everyone is an individual. Learn to love the individual.
That’s all…… for now
~ Written by Brandon May
